I need a cigarette 

Song of the day: RIP to my youth – The NBHD

It’s 6:25 in the morning. The air is still quite crisp but the sun is hitting you hard in the face already. People standing on the edge of the platform, wondering about their train, navigating their smartphones or just staring blankly across the platform. I’m doing it, I think to myself, I’m living the adult life. Maybe I should start smoking. 

  

The train arrives and I squeeze in. The trains are ALWAYS packed on early weekday mornings. I’m in and I only have one stop but it’s enough time for people to stare at me, examine me up and down, and identify that I don’t belong in their age group. That I’m much, much younger than any other passenger there. Wondering where the heck I might be going at half past 6 on a Tuesday morning. What job do I do? I’m not wearing builders’ boots, or office shoes, or any identifiable uniform. They’re right, I’m too young for this. Jeez, I need a cigarette. 

  

I get off at my stop. I can feel the looks disconnecting and returning to other business. I cross over. My next train seems to have no delays. I’m going to be at work on time. I’d hold it thin between my fingers, look at the sky dignified. I’d take  it in, blow some smoke, and act cool. Very responsible. Very mature. Very adult.  

 

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